Turn up drunk on the doorstep,
Bearing a gift for yourself.

Proceed to the sitting room,
Drinking your gift to your health.

Collapse in the bathroom,
Take out fittings and ignore the mess.

Leave chaos and hate in your wake,
Just as long as you leave the next day.

We will fix the mess but you should not return,
You are never welcome again.
We don’t like to be burned.