trans, nerd.


September 2013



Loneliness is the ten-ton-truck,

The hammered fist into the guts,

It leaves a person so alone,

                Lost and directionless;

As the gloom settles  I become confused

A far rooster sings for eleven twenty-two

Now I feel less alone,

                At least I know what time it is.


Extension 215 Does Not Answer


Cold words rolled out,

No information given.

A clipped and broken mannered

Automation unforgiving.

We cannot know if two one five

                Lies still or still alive.




Arcing fire burning through,

White-hot and screaming,

First shot’s a warning to close and leaves them reeling.

Tormented soul, twisted in on itself

Suffers the worst of the heat

And arcing back it signals to all

The time has come to call retreat:

“Retire in penitence!

                Shuffle to your end!

                                You are defeated,

Broken as you could not bend!”



Be deep in your cups,

If you must,


                I must,

                As I lust,

                For that which I cannot attain,


So refrain!

Pull your face from the ale,

As it causes you to fail,


                But my problems do pale,

                As I sup more and more,


Until your life hits the floor

And you live under doors

Begging for alms,


                But my soul feels calmed!

                And life is less bleak

                As my perspective is tweaked


And you wallet does leak.

As does your mind, my friend

As that on which you depend

Tears away at your person,


                I did not come here for sermon,

                I came here to think!

                And maybe a wee drink,


No, you came here to sink

Into a thoughtless mess,

While the life you are blessed

With fades away into nought,

But I spare you this thought,

I love you, please stop.



Allow the sadness,

It is human.

Without the sadness,

Joy is nothing.



Much as we try to run,

We know we’ll die, and soon

Our relations may cry, and then

Nothingness will hold us

And we shall fall apart

Our parts will become others and,

Eventually, stars.

How Are You Feeling Today?


I’m here, can you see me?

I’m following your moments

With careful separation,

There are many miles between us

Not a second’s hesitation,

Is there anyone behind me?

Watching what I’m doing

With a certain satisfaction,

I’ll tell you all my innermost

And hope for interaction,

How many stand beside me?

Seeking fortune in our palms

Begging for a mention,

An invitation by our peers

For some of their attention,

Why are any of us here?

                I look around,

                Take a step,

                Abandon my post.



Ink pulls across the paper

A fevered scribble

Reveals expression

Hidden in pigment,

Paint fired to highlight

And pull out

The beauty of

Damaged figment,

Informed by close, broken nights

How to picture,

What to show

And when to hide.

32 Years


These walls were built to last

Yet here I stand, ankle deep,

In the rubble and the dust.


An insidious attack by others

Welcomed into the keep,

But worried by how close walls smother.


By many a late conversation

Held before we sleep,

I fall prey to their persuasion.


Brick by lonely brick the walls fell

No longer a keep to keep,

Dear voices promise “all will be well”.


These walls were built to fall

So here I stand, ankle deep,

And I do not miss them at all.

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